I thought I was so lonely that I might go out of my mind and then all of a sudden there were several other people in my house, coming and going and I was cookin'. I thought I was waking up from a dream, nervous that this wasn't my house, well at least I didn't recognize it. It was a new house, I had just moved in. I've had this feeling before, after my mother made us move again for the up-teenth time. I woke up and didn't know where the hell I was. Definitely scary. That was around the time I accidentally brushed my teeth with my father's Brill Cream and saw a giant Easter bunny in the living room. I was a little over stressed for a six year old.

My underwear has arrived!!! It's here, I can't believe it. I feel like a brand new person. I feel freer and more satisfied. I might even think I can fly, but they didn't come with the wings advertised on the cover.

I've made a pact with myself. I've decided that I am the boss of my underwear. I do know where they are at all times, even when my dog is chewing on a pair. Some may say I'm not very particular, but I do like them freshly laundered and tucked away in one draw. They're not all over the place, being left behind or falling into the crack of someone's couch. I'm in control of my underwear.


He had to clean the coffee pot. Dick. Now it's broken and he's been gone almost two hours getting a new one. Do you think he could have planned anything better? He certainly didn't plan and execute his family reunion the way he saw himself doing it. The problem there is that he thinks everyone loves him so much they would do anything for him, like cook dinner for everyone, or loan out their car, be a cheerleader. But he likes to fantasize a great deal about things that simply are not true. Like he is rich, loaded, he waves twenties in front of folks, saying the drinks are on him tonight!
He leans over the dead coffee pot, mourning it's loss.
Well he should feel bad, he's the one that killed it. I hope he is sorry for what he has done. I bought that very coffee pot right after we moved in together the first time and I've had it even through our lengthy separation. He thought he could make it look brand new with a toothbrush and some simple green. A lot of Simple Green actually, and a soaking wet cloth. I watched silently as he rinsed it under the faucet. Damn fool. He plugged it in and it doesn't work. What do you know?

But my underwear is here.

I suppose you want me to apologize for being an asshole? Okay, I apologize for being an asshole, because I was only one temporarily. But I can't apologize for being human, because I'm always one of those. Which is worse?

whew!

Big T was here 12:35 PM
******