"Over, done with. No, I can't. " Her arms drooped to her side. "He'll never leave me alone, unless I ask him to, and I can't do that." She shakes her head walking away. "And he won't come back unless I make him. So...What?!"


Alright, I'll admit, love hurt me a lot. To me, love equals loss, because of a love I once felt, I lost the only love I ever really had.
Sounds like I cheated doesn't it? Well you'd be right, because not only did I cheat, but you'll be happy to know that I lost everything as a result of that fling. That fling that turned into a ambrosia of passion and then died as a heap of lifeless vegetation when I lost something so near and dear to me. Technically, it was a loss of residential custody of my son, in which I had bled, withered and sacrificed for for seven years. And I lost him, in what seemed to be one afternoon at the county courthouse.
I knew it was coming, and my heart raced every minute of the day for several months up until that day. I just lived this life that I thought I wanted while watching what really meant something to me just run through my gripped tight fist, faster than I could stop it. I took him to daycare, I took him to school, I cooked his meals, I dressed him and did his laundry. I made sure his nose was clean and I did so with emphatic enthusiasm, with a tissue, which he hated profusely, rearing his head away and flaring his hands..Oh dear, God, how I love that boy. I never would have believed that I could make a mistake of that caliber when it came to him, but I did lock him inside the car once, with the keys in it, parked outside the 7-11 one day. I couldn't believe I did that either.
Tonight was a good night at the Tavern. They played my thirty second spot and it looked great. I'm hoping I can get more than a date with Shannon out of this ad budget of fifty bucks. Every time I turn around I'm spending fifty bucks on this business, so why am I not making double that every time I turn around? What the fuck, I have a nine am appointment, I've got to get to bed.
Good night.

Big T was here 12:43 AM
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